Do You Know Somebody who Over-Explains all the time?

One of my longest friend from polytechnic has a tendency to over explain. Because I cherish the friendship, we have kept in touch over the years despite how different we are. Over time, I notice how drained of energy and how I can’t wait to get away from her each time we meet. Even though we only catch up once in a blue moon, it’s almost as if it’s all I can take much as I care for and love her.

Recently I came across an article about how over explaining is a symptom of trauma. It hit me like a lighting bolt. Of course I know about and empathise with her challenging upbringing and life circumstances, but it never occurred to me to ask what over explaining was really about. What if it wasn’t something she could control?

When we last met, I shared this revelation with love not as a way to judge her but for her to have more understanding of herself. My role as a friend is just to continue to support her. What she decides to do moving on is up to her but she has my love.

Have you been told you have a tendency to over explain? Are you over explaining for fear of being blamed, scolded, or attacked? Did you have demanding parents or a difficult upbringing? We cannot change the past but we can take small steps to heal ourselves. Support is available.