I am not a Nobody and Neither are You!

I had a mother who used to keep saying that she became a nobody when she retired. I saw how this belief reduced her to behaving like a nobody whose power and sense of self seem to be robbed from her even though she had to be so much more than her job. She was also a mom — my mom. She was never a nobody to me.

I didn’t want to be like my mom in this aspect. I didn’t want my identity to revolve around my job, important as it is, and as passionate as I am about it. So when I became a Sexologist and supposedly became “somebody”, I did my own inner work.

I used to repeatedly ask myself, “Who are you if you’re not a Sexologist? Are you just a Sexologist? Are you more than a Sexologist? How can you be more than a Sexologist?”

I dug deep and I found my own answers: I’m a daughter, auntie, friend, lover, human…. And then there’s what makes me me — my wit, humor, intellect, knowledge, life experience, and compassion for humanity for instance. There’s innate value in every single being (and thing) and even if I accomplish nothing with my life, I’m still a somebody never a nobody. Nobody is a label I never want to reduce myself to — it’s taking away my own power and falling into victimhood.

I’ve always held onto the belief that even if everything was taken from me suddenly one day and I couldn’t do my work…