This is how I Started Asserting Myself

Years ago, I was attending a free-form movement class regularly and got to know a person whom I knew was a popular NLP coach in Singapore. Whenever we spoke, he would make it a point to reach out and touch me somewhere along my shoulder to arm without warning and definitely without asking.

I knew why he was doing it — it’s a well-known fact that people you touch are more likely to like you, but it didn’t make me like him more. Knowing the why didn’t help. All these touches made all too aware of him, even wary of him, and resentful of the non-consensual touch. It made me feel targeted, scared, helpless, angry and a whole range of emotions — just from the repeated unwanted light touches of my shoulder or arm (once every time I interacted with him).

I thought of stopping attending the classes altogether so I didn’t need to deal with him, then thought about how ridiculous that was. I avoided him as much as possible, but he would approach me and no matter whether it was interacting individually or within a group, he didn’t stop.

After the fourth or fifth time of this shit, I decided enough was enough. He was being inappropriate and probably didn’t even know it — being the entitled person he was. It was distressing me and I felt violated as stupid or trivia as it might seem to you.